Know Your Limits

Recognizing your innate limitations can help you to focus your energy in the right direction and get the maximum fulfillment from your work. All human beings have limitations, and these need to be seen, not as "faults" or "failings", but as the inevitable result of having strengths in other areas. No individual has everything. Being able to understand those areas where essential character qualities might restrict your capacity to engage in or enjoy a particular kind of work, is part of the building of self-understanding and self-confidence.

Sometimes we have to try and then fail before we are able to recognise that we are undeveloped, unsuited, or simply uninterested in a particular sphere of life.

Pressure from family and peer group may push us into attempting to become what we are not, and much time and energy may be wasted in attempting to fulfil someone else's expectations when we know we are not comfortable in that particular kind of work. It is important to recognise that limits do not signify any irrevocable flaw in character. Working hard on an area of limitation may, in fact, produce great confidence born out of hard effort, and sometimes real talent may be discovered beneath the surface of what appears to be a block or difficulty. It is up to you to discern whether a character limitation needs to be worked on, or compassionately accepted, or both.

The Gift of Insults

There once lived a great warrior. Though quite old, he still was able to defeat any challenger. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him.

One day an infamous young warrior arrived at the village. He was determined to be the first man to defeat the great master. Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.

Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior's challenge. As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. He threw dirt and spit in his face. For hours he verbally assaulted him with every curse and insult known to mankind. But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm. Finally, the young warrior exhausted himself. Knowing he was defeated, he left feeling shamed.

Somewhat disappointed that he did not fight the insolent youth, the students gathered around the old master and questioned him. "How could you endure such an indignity? How did you drive him away?"

"If someone comes to give you a gift and you do not receive it," the master replied, "to whom does the gift belong?"

Dreaming

The great Taoist master Chuang Tzu once dreamt that he was a butterfly fluttering here and there. In the dream he had no awareness of his individuality as a person. He was only a butterfly. Suddenly, he awoke and found himself laying there, a person once again. But then he thought to himself, "Was I before a man who dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly who dreams about being a man?"

Concentration

After winning several archery contests, the young and rather boastful champion challenged a Zen master who was renowned for his skill as an archer. The young man demonstrated remarkable technical proficiency when he hit a distant bull's eye on his first try, and then split that arrow with his second shot. "There," he said to the old man, "see if you can match that!" Undisturbed, the master did not draw his bow, but rather motioned for the young archer to follow him up the mountain. Curious about the old fellow's intentions, the champion followed him high into the mountain until they reached a deep chasm spanned by a rather flimsy and shaky log. Calmly stepping out onto the middle of the unsteady and certainly perilous bridge, the old master picked a far away tree as a target, drew his bow, and fired a clean, direct hit. "Now it is your turn," he said as he gracefully stepped back onto the safe ground. Staring with terror into the seemingly bottomless and beckoning abyss, the young man could not force himself to step out onto the log, no less shoot at a target. "You have much skill with your bow," the master said, sensing his challenger's predicament, "but you have little skill with the mind that lets loose the shot."

We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversation with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.

What if we actually said the things that we think about, but are afraid to say?

Maybe if we started saying the things we think but do not say, our lives would have more meaning.